7 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression & acceptance in Death or Break Up can get U stuck in Anger

 

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In many ways, there is no “understanding” the loss of a loved one, but in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced a model aimed to demystify the grieving process with the 5, now sometimes 7 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance.

The big myth, though, is these steps build up to a staircase that leads to acceptance. Anyone can get stuck in or regress to any stage of grieving, and, anecdotally, I’ve seen a lot of friends boomerang back to the third stage: anger.

One of my friends passed several months ago, and in my social circle, anger seems to be the home-base grief emotion. I now field a lot of out-of-the-blue all-caps texts about how “SOMEONE SHOULD’VE DONE SOMETHING” and wondering “HOW COULD HER HUSBAND POST THAT ON FACEBOOK?” I’m not immune, either: I recently found myself in a shout-y “IT’S NOT FAIR” breakdown. My friends and I are all screaming, always.

It turns out there’s a psychological reason we’re all marooned in anger: It’s an easier mask to wear than other, more vulnerable-leaning feelings.

Like grief as a whole, anger is complicated to explain and easy to feel.

“Really, anger is just a shallow way of expressing grief,” says bereavement-care specialist Virginia A. Simpson. “It’s because it’s too hard to touch those softer emotions. We’ve all been taught…that strength is shown through being very rigid or angry. Anger is okay, because we see it every day. But if somebody cries, they’ll go, ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ and they’ll apologize for their tears.”

Full Article on

Why it’s so easy and common to get stuck in the third stage of grief

51-Sad-Breakup-Quotes-That-Make-You-Cry

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: These 9 Tips Can Help

Try not to isolate yourself during this delicate time.

Those closest to you can help you vent but also show you that you’re loved and supported — always.

Focusing on your social relationships now can also help strengthen your romantic relationship skills in the future. Experts believe that staying social is linked to decreased depression and a longer life.

Rearrange your living situation

Sometimes, a breakup means one or both individuals moving out of a previously shared living space.

On top of the stress of moving, the emotional toll can raise even more if you and your partner shared pets or children in your relationship…

FULL ARTICLE ON

https://www.healthline.com/health/coping-with-break-up

 

 

 

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