Archive for the Mind Category

7 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression & acceptance in Death or Break Up can get U stuck in Anger

Posted in 2020, Health, Mind with tags , , , , , on April 8, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

 

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In many ways, there is no “understanding” the loss of a loved one, but in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced a model aimed to demystify the grieving process with the 5, now sometimes 7 stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and acceptance.

The big myth, though, is these steps build up to a staircase that leads to acceptance. Anyone can get stuck in or regress to any stage of grieving, and, anecdotally, I’ve seen a lot of friends boomerang back to the third stage: anger.

One of my friends passed several months ago, and in my social circle, anger seems to be the home-base grief emotion. I now field a lot of out-of-the-blue all-caps texts about how “SOMEONE SHOULD’VE DONE SOMETHING” and wondering “HOW COULD HER HUSBAND POST THAT ON FACEBOOK?” I’m not immune, either: I recently found myself in a shout-y “IT’S NOT FAIR” breakdown. My friends and I are all screaming, always.

It turns out there’s a psychological reason we’re all marooned in anger: It’s an easier mask to wear than other, more vulnerable-leaning feelings.

Like grief as a whole, anger is complicated to explain and easy to feel.

“Really, anger is just a shallow way of expressing grief,” says bereavement-care specialist Virginia A. Simpson. “It’s because it’s too hard to touch those softer emotions. We’ve all been taught…that strength is shown through being very rigid or angry. Anger is okay, because we see it every day. But if somebody cries, they’ll go, ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ and they’ll apologize for their tears.”

Full Article on

Why it’s so easy and common to get stuck in the third stage of grief

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Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: These 9 Tips Can Help

Try not to isolate yourself during this delicate time.

Those closest to you can help you vent but also show you that you’re loved and supported — always.

Focusing on your social relationships now can also help strengthen your romantic relationship skills in the future. Experts believe that staying social is linked to decreased depression and a longer life.

Rearrange your living situation

Sometimes, a breakup means one or both individuals moving out of a previously shared living space.

On top of the stress of moving, the emotional toll can raise even more if you and your partner shared pets or children in your relationship…

FULL ARTICLE ON

https://www.healthline.com/health/coping-with-break-up

 

 

 

Your brain hallucinates your conscious reality. Billions of neurons in your brain are working together to generate a conscious experience

Posted in 2020, Health, Mind, science with tags , , , on April 4, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame
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Jill Bolte Taylor’s stroke of insight : A powerful story about how our brains define us & connect us to the world & to one another

Posted in 2020, Health, Mind, science with tags , , on April 4, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

http://www.ted.com Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened — as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.

Jill Bolte Taylor speaking at TED on February ...

Jill Bolte Taylor speaking at TED on February 27, 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One morning in 1996, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor’s brain exploded. Within moments, her left lobe–the source of ego, analysis, judgement and context–began to fail her. And much to her shock, the Harvard-trained brain scientist felt great. She’d been given a ringside seat to her own stroke, and a host of powerful insights as a result. As Taylor shared with the audience at a recent TED conference, “I believe the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world, the more peaceful our planet will be.” Or as she put it another way to The New York Times last week, “Nirvana exists right now.” – 

Do you find my brain? - Auf der Suche nach mei...

Do you find my brain? – Auf der Suche nach meinem Gehirn (Photo credit: alles-schlumpf)

Be Conscious of What You are Thinking. Negative thinking, characteristic of the nocebo effect, can cause ANY disease 

Posted in 2020, Health, Mind with tags , , on April 3, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

Stop Thinking

Since the dawn of New Age thought, proponents have emphasized the power of the mind in controlling biology.

The notion of self-empowerment in managing health was adamantly condemned by the pharmaceutical industry, an industry whose livelihood is based upon selling drugs as the only path in controlling health.

The public’s perception that pharmaceuticals are the only way to regain health is conditioned by the industry’s onslaught of drug commercials every ten minutes in TV programming.

The financial power of the drug companies has also been used to manipulate medical school curricula so that practitioners are trained to devalue the role of the mind while they are encouraged to write drug prescriptions for their patients.

While medical practitioners have essentially dismissed the role of the mind in influencing health, science has fully established that a minimum of one third, and up to two thirds, of all positive medical interventions are due to the Placebo Effect, an expression of the real power of mind over matter.

By definition, the placebo effect reveals the influence that positive thinking about the effectiveness of a pill or therapy (that may in reality only be a sugar pill or a sham (fake) therapy) can produce a healing experience. Placebos represent the scientific consequence of how positive consciousness (mind) can manifest healing.

While the placebo effect demonstrates the effectiveness of positive thinking in shaping health, what about the influence of negative thinking?

Negative thoughts engage the Nocebo Effect, whose influence is equally powerful to that of the placebo effect but works in the opposite direction.

Negative thinking, characteristic of the nocebo effect, can cause ANY disease and even death … from nothing more than a thought.

It’s not really the power of positive thinking or of negative thinking, it is simply the power of thinking, and how our thoughts control our biology.

This insight fully reflects the fundamental principle of quantum physics, the most valid of all the sciences, that recognizes consciousness as the factor that controls our life experiences. The placebo and nocebo effects are mediated by the release of brain neurochemistry that complements the mind’s interpretation of the world. Brain chemistry is responsible for manifesting the body’s physical expression of thought.

Source

https://upliftconnect.com/be-conscious-of-what-you-are-thinking/

 

Lao Tzu on Living an Inspired and Peaceful Life

Posted in 2020, Mind, spirituality with tags , , , , on March 22, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

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Lao Tzu on Living an Inspired and Peaceful Life

A Philosophy of Heart

Many centuries ago, Lao Tzu, spoke of the four cardinal virtues, teaching that when we practice them as a way of life, we come to know the truth of the universe. The ancient Chinese master said that living and practicing these teachings can open you to higher wisdom and greater happiness, as they realign you to the source and enable you to access all the powers that source energy has to offer.

When you succeed in connecting your energy with the divine realm through high awareness and the practice of undiscriminating virtue, the transmission of the ultimate subtle truths will follow. – Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu means ‘Old Master,’ and he was believed by some to be a God-realised being. The Four Cardinal Virtues are found in the Tao Te Ching, a collection of sayings expounding the principal Taoist teachings. It has 81 short poetic verses packed full of universal wisdom for politics, society, and personal life, and aims to support personal harmony through the right view and understanding of existence. The Tao (also known as the Way or the Dao) has baffled its readers for centuries with its cryptic and deliberate contradictions, yet it offers a profound contemplation to seekers, lending itself to varied interpretations and inner questioning.

Lao Tzu means ‘Old Master,’ and he was believed by some to be a God-realised being.

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The Tao is both named and nameless. As nameless it is the origin of all things; as named it is the Mother of 10,000 things. Ever desireless, one can see the mystery; ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations. And the mystery itself is the doorway to all understanding. – Wayne W. Dyer, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao

The Tao Te Ching is the basic text of Taoism, but it has also influenced Confucianism and Chinese Buddhism and is among some of the most translated works in world literature. This powerful text of the Tao, road or way of life, reflects the force of the universe and even the universe itself. While many have tried to make sense of its mystery, one man immersed himself in this text, literally living its wisdom, and then distilled the essence of these ancient mystery teachings for a modern audience.

In 2006, the late Wayne Dyer was inspired to spend his entire 65th year reading, researching, and meditating on Lao Tzu’s messages, going into retreat to practice them and ultimately write down the insights he felt Lao Tzu wanted us to know. Dr Dyer researched ten well-respected translations of the text and the result of that life-changing year was his best-selling book Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

Affectionately known as the Father of Motivation, Dr Dyer says Lao Tzu’s four cardinal virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind and reconnect to your original nature. “The more your life is harmonised with the four virtues, the less you’re controlled by the uncompromising ego.”

Dr Dyer says Lao Tzu's four cardinal virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind.Dr Dyer says Lao Tzu’s four virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind.

The Tao encourages us to be in touch with our own selves, particularly our deepest selves, for when you know who you really are, that is when you discover eternal peace. Lao Tzu liked to compare different parts of nature to different virtues.

He said, “The best people are like water, which benefits all things and does not compete with them. It stays in lowly places that others reject. This is why it is so similar to the Way (Dao).” Each part of nature can remind us of a quality we admire and should cultivate ourselves—the strength of the mountains, the resilience of trees, the cheerfulness of flowers.

We enter life with a seemingly clean slate, a spectacular pathway ahead of us with unlimited potentials and choices. To navigate our lives and get a handle on the challenges and gifts life will throw at us, it is useful to have some sort of compass so that we don’t end up on the rocks or lost at sea.

For many people, this may be religion, morality, or the belief systems passed down by their family, and they may derive a sense of strength and direction through their strongly held inner compass sourced in this integrity. No matter what happens in life, they’ll always fall back on that maxim, whether it be, for example, to lead from the heart, or to be kind.

To realise the constancy and steadiness in your life is to realise the deep nature of the universe. This realisation is not dependent on any transitory internal or external condition, rather it is an expression of one’s own immutable spiritual nature. The only way to attain the Universal Way is to maintain the integral virtues of the constancy, steadiness and simplicity in one’s daily life. – Lao Tzu

The four cardinal virtues, or rules for living life, can provide a framework for a life filled with inner peace and purpose.

A framework for a life filled with inner peace and purpose.A framework for a life filled with inner peace and purpose.

1. Reverence for all Life

This virtue manifests as having unconditional love and positive regard for all creatures in the universe, starting with ourselves, then this will naturally flow out to all others. This reverence is for all life, not just some forms. It is honouring all forms of life, and at its core has an innate spiritual understanding of how the universe truly works – that we are all sparks of the one fire. When we live with reverence for all life, we surrender our need to control and to dominate. We naturally come into heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for all of life. This first virtue is the key to diminishing the ego.

Affirm this as often as you can, for when you see yourself in a loving way, you have nothing but love to extend outward. And the more you love others, the less you need old excuse patterns, particularly those relating to blame. – Wayne Dyer

2. Natural Sincerity

This virtue encompasses kindness and authenticity. To me, it has a feeling of compassion and an all-encompassing love for all beings. When we are sincere and act with integrity, we move towards peace and inner tranquility. Our conscience clear, we don’t have the inner niggles over our dishonest actions that can erode a peaceful mind. Much of these four pillars relate to karma, the law of cause and effect, and maintaining equilibrium and impeccability. This virtue is honesty, simplicity, and faithfulness, says Wayne Dyer. It is about being true to yourself and walking your talk.

According to Dyer, if you find this challenging, try affirming, “I no longer need to be insincere or dishonest. This is who I am, and this is how I feel.”

Having unconditional love and positive regard for all creatures in the universe.Having unconditional love and positive regard for all creatures in the universe.

3. Gentleness

Gentleness is a deeply powerful trait. Often interpreted as weakness, gentleness is sensitivity, respect, and reverence for all life. Perhaps this virtue can be summed up by the Dalai Lama who often says; “my religion is very simple, my religion is kindness.” In life, it is far more important to be kind than to be right, and to be kind rather than important. Gentleness is an umbrella for forgiveness, acceptance and love. It is much like the yogic term ahimsa, or non-violence. When we give up being right and being superior, we start accepting ourselves and others, and so much conflict in our lives drops away.

Gentleness generally implies that you no longer have a strong ego-inspired desire to dominate or control others, which allows you to move into a rhythm with the universe. You cooperate with it, much like a surfer who rides with the waves instead of trying to overpower them. Gentleness means accepting life and people as they are, rather than insisting that they be as you are. As you practice living this way, blame disappears and you enjoy a peaceful world. – Wayne Dyer

“My religion is very simple, my religion is kindness.”

4. Supportiveness

When we are supportive of ourselves, with kind words, loving actions and self-care, we are naturally supportive of others. This virtue is the basic tenet of humanity. We are naturally social beings and, at our core, we want to be with others and to help others. Many experiments show how humans are motivated by connection and will move towards this rather than other things. When we give to others, share and support others, we become happy.  Our lives become meaningful and our hearts full. Supportiveness is about service. Open-hearted service for the sake of helping others and benefiting others, with no thought to our own gain. Supportiveness is also about holding space for another, listening to another, and being there for others. It is radical loving kindness in action. This quote by the poet, Hafiz, sums it up: “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth ‘you owe me.’”

The greatest joy comes from giving and serving, so replace your habit of focusing exclusively on yourself and what’s in it for you. When you make the shift to supporting others in your life, without expecting anything in return, you’ll think less about what you want and find comfort and joy in the act of giving and serving. – Wayne Dyer

Let these four virtues fragrance your life, and notice the grace and ease that will come your way. For each one of these virtues brings in a way of being that is light, graceful and flowing and will help you shed destructive, self-defeating patterns that sabotage your inner peace and happiness.

The four cardinal virtues are a road map to the simple truth of the universe. To revere all of life, to live with natural sincerity, to practice gentleness, and to be in service to others is to replicate the energy field from which you originated. – Dr Wayne Dyer

Famous Universal Poem: You’ll Be A Man My Son / Tu seras un homme mon fils by Rudyard KIPLING

Posted in 2020, Mind, spirituality with tags , on March 21, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame


You’ll be a man, my son (tu seras un homme, mon fils)



Voici le poème “If”, de Rudyard Kipling, dans sa version originale anglaise , puis dans sa version française (Traduction d’André Maurois). Enjoy !

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise ;

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same,
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools ;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss,
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you,
Except the Will which says to them : “Hold on!”,

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And, which is more, you’ll be a man, my son.

RUDYARD KIPLING

Si

Si tu peux voir détruit l’ouvrage de ta vie
Et sans dire un seul mot te mettre à rebâtir,
Ou perdre en un seul coup le gain de cent parties
Sans un geste et sans un soupir ;

Si tu peux être amant sans être fou d’amour,
Si tu peux être fort sans cesser d’être tendre,
Et, te sentant haï, sans haïr à ton tour,
Pourtant lutter et te défendre ;

Si tu peux supporter d’entendre tes paroles
Travesties par des gueux pour exciter les sots,
Et d’entendre mentir sur toi leurs bouches folles,
Sans mentir toi-même d’un mot ;

Si tu peux rester digne en étant populaire,
Si tu peux rester peuple en conseillant les Rois,
Et si tu peux aimer tous tes amis en frère,
Sans qu’aucun d’eux soit tout pour toi ;

Si tu sais méditer, observer et connaître,
Sans jamais devenir sceptique ou destructeur,
Rêver, mais sans laisser ton rêve être ton maître,
Penser sans n’être qu’un penseur ;

Si tu peux être dur sans jamais être en rage,
Si tu peux être brave et jamais imprudent,
Si tu sais être bon, si tu sais être sage,
Sans être moral ni pédant ;

Si tu peux rencontrer Triomphe après Défaite,
Et recevoir ces deux menteurs d’un même front,
Si tu peux conserver ton courage et ta tête,
Quand tous les autres les perdront ;

Alors les Rois, les Dieux, la Chance et la Victoire
Seront à tout jamais tes esclaves soumis,
Et, ce qui vaut mieux que les Rois et la Gloire,
Tu seras un homme, mon fils.

RUDYARD KIPLING

Etonnant poème écrit en 1910 par Rudyard Kipling, dans lequel l’auteur du “Livre de la jungle” exalte des valeurs universelles et intemporelles : la volonté, la patience, la tolérance, le courage, l’optimisme, le respect de l’autre…

“Si quand il faut attendre tu peux patienter,
Et lorsque l’on te ment dire la vérité,
Continuer d’aimer lorsque tu es haï,
Sans avoir l’air trop sage ou alors trop gentil …”

A l’origine le poème est une adresse à un jeune soldat anglais qui participe en Afrique du Sud, à la guerre des Boers de sinistre mémoire. Kipling ignore que son propre fils John trouvera la mort, cinq ans plus tard, dans la boucherie de la guerre 14/18.

…” Et si chaque seconde est un pas accompli
que chaque minute apporte un sens à ta vie
Alors seront à toi la Terre et ses trésors,
Et, mieux encore,
Tu seras un Homme, mon fils !”

Crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of emotional intelligence

Posted in 2020, Mind, spirituality with tags , , , on March 16, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

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Crying is a normal human reaction to the way how the world is. However, this human feature has been marked as a sign of weakness which made people to hide their true feelings since their childhood.

It is unspeakable for a boy to cry, and if a girl does it most of the time than this girl is seen as spoilt.

As we grow older, we learn that we need to hide our tears so that we are not perceived as emotionally weak persons.

Moreover, we fear to show our true feelings in order not to get hurt or someone to take advantage of us.

Even though we try very hard to hide our tears we need to let go from time to time in order to feel better.

It is very important to face our emotions and be open about them. When a person is aware of its feelings, then this is a sign of emotional intelligence, and not of weakness.

TO BE CONTINUED

Crying is Not a Sign of Weakness – It’s a Sign of Emotional Intelligence

Giovanni Boccaccio’s work 14th-century Italian advice on how to survive an epidemic & how to maintain mental wellbeing

Posted in 2020, Health, Mind with tags , , , , on March 15, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

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The spread of the Covid-19 virus has triggered an epidemic of advice. This advice is important, but it seems destined to make our lives more miserable and isolated. However, there is an unusual source of counsel which offers another way to deal with an epidemic. That source is the Decameron.

The Italian Renaissance author Giovanni Boccaccio wrote the Decameron in the wake of the plague outbreak in Florence in 1348. The disease ravaged the city, reducing the population by around 60 per cent. Boccaccio described how Florentines “dropped dead in open streets, both by day and by night, whilst a great many others, though dying in their own houses, drew their neighbours’ attention to the fact more by the smell of their rotting corpses”.

Social bonds broke down as “this scourge had implanted so great a terror in the hearts of men and women that brothers abandoned brothers, uncles their nephews, sisters their brothers”, and “fathers and mothers refused to nurse and assist their children”.

Some people retreated into their houses, while others formed groups and staggered through the city on multi-day benders. The ten friends who the Decameron follows leave Florence for a deserted villa in the countryside. Upon arriving in their rural idyll, they spend their days telling amusing and often racy stories.

Today, we see the Decameron as a collection of entertaining stories to keep next to your bed. In the 14th century, it was a form of social prescribing. According to Pace University’s Martin Marafiot, Boccaccio’s prescription for an epidemic was a good dose of “narrative prophylaxis”.That meant protecting yourself with stories.

Boccaccio suggested you could save yourself by fleeing towns, surrounding yourself with pleasant company and telling amusing stories to keep spirits up. Through a mixture of social isolation and pleasant activities, it was possible to survive the worst days of an epidemic.

Full Article On

https://www.newstatesman.com/2020/03/coronavirus-survive-italy-wellbeing-stories-decameron

 

Learning martial arts & Master your Fears

Posted in 2020, Mind, spirituality, Uncategorized with tags , , on February 17, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

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Christopher Search: In the “Mathematical Glory” of the Universe, the Physicist Discovered the “Truly Divine”

Posted in 2017, 2020, Mind, spirituality with tags , , , on February 17, 2020 by theboldcorsicanflame

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How did this slip through? John Horgan with Scientific American interviewed a physicist colleague, Christopher Search.

The physicist is appealingly direct in rejecting the atheism associated with Stephen Hawking and other venerated names in the field.

More than that, he says it was physics that brought him to a recognition of the “truly divine” in the universe:

“Over the years my view of physics has evolved significantly. I no longer believe that physics offers all of the answers. It can’t explain why the universe exists or why we are even here.

It does though paint a very beautiful and intricate picture of the how the universe works. I actually feel sorry for people that do not understand the laws of physics in their full mathematical glory because they are missing out on something that is truly divine.

The beautiful interlocking connectedness of the laws of physics indicates to me how finely tuned and remarkable the universe is, which for me proves that the universe is more than random chance.

Ironically, it was by studying physics that I stopped being an atheist because physics is so perfect and harmonious that it had to come from something.

After years of reflecting, I simply could not accept that the universe is random chance as the anthropic principle implies…..

TO BE CONTINUED ON

In the “Mathematical Glory” of the Universe, Physicist Discovered the “Truly Divine”

 

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